"I know what I know / Could not fill a thimble."

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Why does every Christian mom have a blog?

Why does every Christian mom have a blog?
 I have noticed a trend over the last 6 years or so, since my first-born came into my life, and I entered into the mighty decade of my 30s.  All of my girfriends had a blog, read a blog or wished they could blog.  A friend pressured me that I, too, needed to join the world of blogging.  So I opened a blogger account and spent hours trying to formulate something profound that I could post.  Something that would gain the accolades of my girlfriends and perhaps get noticed by strangers too.  Followers!  How many followers could I gain?
Then I checked my heart.  What was my motivation for blogging?  I have never considered myself a master writer.  In fact, I am quite honest with the fact that my grammar stinks.  Often, as I write a sentence, I think wow, that does not sound right. When I finish a document, Microsoft Word often points out the fact with green underlines and red words. 
Other friends of mine have a knack for it.  Their grammar is not an embarrassment and those who do suffer from grammar deficiency, openly admit it, and know that   their blog, is not noticed for its literary genius, but more for a laugh, or an ah-ha. 
So I turned my blog into a daily devotional.  I started reading the Bible and posting my thoughts on it...Ooo...vulnerable, I know!  I was careful to not write anything too exposing.  I didn’t talk about my bouts with depression or the fact that I struggle with pleasing others & folding laundry.  I did it more for personal accountability.  Then I stopped.  I realized that the online blog was not the best place for me to talk to God.  And the best place for me to talk to my girlfriends was not on a screen. 
But I continued to notice that many Christian women feel a need to blog.  Is it because we are afraid to sit face-to-face?  Is it because we think our girlfriends will judge us if we blurt out what is really going on in our head?  Somehow the keyboard and computer screen is safer than sharing our deep dark verbal mutterings with someone whose eyes we can see. 
30 something women want to be heard.  That is my assessment.  And for some reason blogging seems to be the best forum for that.  My question is, are we holding back in speaking up in *real life* and trading it in for the muddled down sharing that happens when our 1 year old finally decides to go down for a nap? 
What would happen if we started sharing our thoughts to older women?  What if we started sharing   What if we shared our dreams, struggles and observations to an audience who isn’t neccarily looking to hear them?  Are we afraid of being ridiculed or *disliked* or told we are wrong? 
our thoughts with our husbands and our politicians?
Please don’t get me wrong- I still encourage writers to write and if blogging is the best forum for that, go for it.  God is certainly using blogs to change people’s thoughts and attitudes about Himself, relationships, parenting and struggle.  But I think we are hungry for something more.  I believe Christian women in their 30s need to start living and speaking their blog thoughts.   Not in an effort to be recognized, or appreciated or gain acclimation- but instead to make their voice heard in a place other than facebook and blogger.   God designed us for community and hugs- not emotion icons- but real hugs.   God designed us with ears to hear and hands to act.  So I am going to stop feel guilty about the fact that my last blog post was sharing pictures of our new house, almost a year ago, and I am going to instead commit to being more open and honest with the people I see every day- not through writing, but through being.   Now I think I will go post this on my blog.  :)